What a Way to Begin 31!

I’ve always believed things happen in 3s (or in multiples). Good or rough, events like to stack onto each other for whatever reason. When those 3 things are positive things it’s the best, you’re the luckiest person alive! Yet, there can be that little bit of worry because from life experience SOMETIMES 3 good things is followed by 3 rough things (but also vice versa thankfully). When 3 bad things happen to me I find myself relieved like, ok, it’s finally done and now 3 good things are coming my way! Woohoo! Bring on the blessings! There’s always, always a silver lining and if you stay open to the blessings they will surely come. They always say, the sun comes after the storm. When I encounter 2 rough situations I find myself just waiting and hoping the 3rd “bad” thing comes quickly to get it over with so then the good things can come sooner. Since the Universe runs on balance and harmony it all makes sense. Yet I believe good always manages to grow from things that are seemingly bad at the time. And I believe the 3 good things outweigh the 3 “bad” things. But when 3 challenges hit you in the face on the same day AND on your birthday, yeah, it’s hard not to take it personal!

First, I suffered a severe loss. My beloved Newfie, Nixie, unexpectedly passed away at only 6 years old from sudden liver and heart failure. It was a huge shock and has been absolutely devastating. This is why I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve spent a lot of time crying and being angry over it. My dogs are my life, they are all the great loves of my life. I love them the same as my immediate human family. This happened just 2 weeks before my birthday so it definitely put a huge damper on my birthday festivities. My grandfather died right before my 21st birthday as well and my beloved baby boo died right before my 31st. Needless to say, I’m concerned for my 41st. I was only 2 weeks from flying back to my family in NJ when she passed and I deeply wish I could’ve seen her one last time and given her extra snuggles (as if she could get any more!).

My plan when I got back for my birthday was to spend quality time with my folks, visit Longwood Gardens in PA to see the foliage and then on my actual birthday drive up to my favorite winery in the Poconos- Blue Ridge- to spend quality time with some dear friends. My dog’s passing loomed like a dark cloud over the festivities, I can’t lie. It was difficult to enjoy myself or be as happy as I wanted to be, as much as I was happy to be with loved ones it was just impossible to really be myself. I couldn’t be the “me” people are typically used to but I couldn’t help that. Grief is a strange and long process, one moment when you distract yourself you’re totally fine and then suddenly like a wave out of nowhere it hits you and you’re sobbing. I’ve been a total emotional mess all over the board but I did do my absolutely best to be present and find solace with loved ones. I had been looking forward to this birthday trip for months and I wanted to make the best of it despite the circumstances. Just focus on my loved ones and spend quality time with them- that’s what I really need right now! 🙂

But… Universe felt it was time to throw even more challenges onto my lap specifically during my winery visit. I’m telling you its just one thing on top of the other. First I get to the winery only 30 minutes after opening. I got there way earlier than I expected so I’m an hour early from when I told my friends to show up. No biggie, I’ll just enjoy my first glass! The place was PACKED though! I have never ever seen a winery this out of control. Thankfully the location was creative with social distancing and I got a table actually in the vineyards which offered absolutely stunning views. I got a free glass of wine when they saw it was my birthday too! But then I noticed my cell phone was at 15% battery. What?!?! I had charged it in my rental car with my car charger. Turns out the charging station in the car was broken, like actually not working. I start panicking because I can’t contact my friends to tell them I’m at an obscure table in the vineyard and, mostly, how am I going to use my phone GPS to get back to NJ afterwards? I have the route memorized from Route 33 but definitely don’t remember how to get to 33 from the winery! I ask the workers if they have a spare charger I can borrow to get my phone charged up. Thankfully they did. Ok, well that problem is solved (or so I thought…). By afternoon the winery was so packed it was becoming stressful. I don’t really enjoy crowds, I need my tranquil environment to thrive in. This was more chaos than I would’ve liked. Why is it soooo packed?? I had massive guilt that my friends came to visit me and the lines for wine and food were so long. I’m one of those people who can’t be happy unless everyone else is too. Thankfully we ended up just buying bottles and sharing to avoid standing in the tasting/wine glass lines. But the food lines… wow! Those guys made a killing that day. We had been there up to closing time around 6:00 so it was time to go. For being in a rough place emotionally I actually really enjoyed being with my friends despite the crowds and grief. It warmed my heart and helped a lot. I have some really wonderful people in my life and I am so grateful for that!

So I go to leave, I’m the last one to leave and all my friends have driven off. I notice my phone was still at 15%! Are you kidding me? It hadn’t charged any more! Well, I’m just going to have to go off memory to get back to highway I guess! So long story short, I got lost. My memory did not serve me right. I was lost in the Poconos with a dead cellphone. My anxiety was at a 12 on a scale of 1 to 10. And then, something else happened. The gas gauge on the car (I swear this rental had all types of issues) had told me I had 37 miles left. Out of nowhere it starts blinking and signifying I am running on fumes. You’ve got to be @#$%&#$ kidding me! So I’m lost in the middle of nowhere, no gas and no cell phone. I literally pulled over and completely broke down. I couldn’t take it. This was 3 scary things on top of the worst thing that could happen on my birthday. By some miracle I happened to find a little parking lot and 2 people just happened to be there and helped me to get gas. They then directed me to get to Route 33 and from there I knew the rest of the way home to the Turnpike and to my parents’ house. There is a word to describe these series of events but it isn’t appropriate so I’ll just leave it at that.

Yeah, 31 was not my best birthday but my 30th was so darn amazing I guess it makes sense it had to balance out. My winery trip fiasco will go in the annals of birthday adventures for me. Anxiety to the max and a series of extremely unfortunate events. Well, hopefully I can redeem my birthday next year. But perhaps this is one of those things where the birthday goes so catastrophically that the rest of the year is so wonderful to make up for it. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. Positive outlook to the rest of 31! I believe beautiful, wonderful things will grow from these difficult situations. 3 great, amazing things are coming and I affirm that 🙂

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